Najam Sethi’s ‘Chirya’ flies out of Samaa, builds new nest in Dunya News’ power-friendly trees

Satire News Story by Imran Malik, Editor-in-Chief, MediaBites

In a development that shocked absolutely no one, not even Sethi’s own Chirya, senior journalist, political analyst, and three-time PCB chairman Najam Sethi has officially flown out of Samaa TV and landed gracefully inside the lush, well-watered gardens of Dunya News, owned by the ever-influential Mian Aamir Mehmood.

Sethi, famous for his trademark “Meri chirya ne mujhe bataya hai…” analysis, has now given his beloved bird a new home, this time in a network rumored to have premium-quality nests directly connected to the power corridors. Media watchers say the Chirya hasn’t been this comfortable since the days of his post-match pitch inspections.

The Big Migration

The migration was confirmed on X, where Sethi thanked Samaa’s Aleem Khan and Nadeem Malik for hosting Sethi Se Sawal for nearly two years. Although he didn’t reveal the reason for his exit, insiders say the Chirya had been chirping for months that the winds at Samaa were changing direction, and not in Sethi’s favor.

Sources further claim the Chirya demanded better “environmental conditions,” preferably somewhere the breeze flows from the right direction. Dunya News, currently in the very good books of certain unnamed, but widely understood institutions, was deemed ideal.

Why the Switch?

Pakistan’s media industry, where journalists change channels faster than viewers change remote batteries, is no stranger to such migrations. Still, Sethi’s shift has added a fresh spark to newsroom gossip circles.

“Where else would Sethi go?” murmured one producer while adjusting the lights for a breaking news segment. “Jiss kay saath pyaar ka rishta ho, wahan hi tou basna parta hai.”

Another insider whispered, “Dunya News ka AC bhi power corridors ka direct line say chalta hai… Sethi sahab ko hawa sahi chahiye hoti hai.”

The Chirya’s New Habitat

Dunya News executives are reportedly thrilled with the acquisition.

“Hum nay Sethi sahab ko nahi rakha… unki Chirya ko rakha hai,” joked one editor. “Because let’s be honest — the real ratings come from that bird.”

Rumor has it that the Chirya has already been assigned a brand-new studio corner with soundproof walls, a panoramic view of Islamabad’s direction, and a bird feeder sponsored by a “strategic friend.”

A Veteran Lands Where the Winds Favor

Sethi’s illustrious career spans roles at Geo, 24 News, AAP, and Samaa, not to mention his PCB adventures and caretaker government stints. Known for reading political winds better than PIA pilots read landing altitudes, he remains one of Pakistan’s most experienced—and strategically placed—commentators.

And now, with Dunya News under the warm shade of Mian Aamir Mehmood’s blossoming ties with the establishment, Sethi’s migration seems less like a move and more like… a homecoming for his Chirya.

KEY SATIRE POINTS:

Najam Sethi exits Samaa and enters Dunya like a seasoned migratory bird.
His Chirya insisted on better nest conditions and direct access to the power corridor breeze.
Dunya’s “favorable weather patterns” reportedly sealed the deal.
Media insiders say Sethi’s move is “the least surprising development of 2025.”
Aleem Khan left holding a show title, a studio chair, and many unanswered questions.