SATIRE: Why only Shah Mehmood Qureshi? PTI supporters celebrate and sob as senior leader walks free while others get 10-year sentences

By Imran Malik | July 23, 2025

LAHORE — In a move that has left Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf (PTI) supporters both celebrating and crying into their Insafian mugs, senior leader and spiritual multitasker Shah Mehmood Qureshi has been released from jail, while Dr. Yasmeen Rashid, Mian Mehmood-ur-Rasheed, and Ejaz Chaudhry were each handed a neat 10-year prison sentence.

PTI’s WhatsApp groups are on fire — not with revolution, but with philosophical debates.

“Yeh toh hona hee tha,” said one longtime PTI worker while simultaneously applying for a visa and preparing a Twitter thread on injustice. “Shah Sahab tou peer hein, un ka bail form bhi spiritual guidance say bharta hai.”

Qureshi, often referred to by admirers as the “Gaddi Nasheen of Politics,” has once again proven that his politics — much like his family shrine — cannot be demolished, only renovated.

During General Musharraf’s martial law era, Qureshi was elected Nazim of Multan under the PPP umbrella, while PML-Q swept the rest of Pakistan. “Woh toh Qalandar hein… unko political gravity affect nahi karti,” remarked a local journalist, filing from his fourth transfer order.

Despite PTI’s loud disdain for dynastic politics, no one dares question why Multan’s ticket is reserved for the House of Qureshi — even though local candidates with more street support are told to wait for “divine timing.”

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PTI worker Aslam Bhatti, who once offered his kidney for party funds, sighed deeply, “Multan mein to PTI ka candidate buffalo bhi ho tou jeet jaye. Lekin humein har baar same Qureshi biryani khilayi jaati hai — thandi aur reheated.”

Even as his son Zain Qureshi became an MNA through his dad’s spiritual lobbying, and his daughter lost with dignity and zero blame, Shah Mehmood continues politics with a calm spiritual detachment, saying, “Main sirf Allah ka banda hoon… aur Election Commission ka favorite.”

When asked if he would return to jail in solidarity with fellow PTI leaders, Qureshi looked away contemplatively and said, “Jab tak baqi reha na hoon, main bhi… [brief pause]… press conference mein busy rahoon ga.”

Meanwhile, PTI’s social media team has been instructed not to use the term “warisati siyasat” until further notice, or at least not until they figure out how to spin Qureshi family’s political monopoly as “legacy-based loyalty.”

As one PTI youth wing member summed it up:
“Politics mein kuch bhi ho sakta hai… bas agar aap Gaddi Nasheen hoon.”

Disclaimer: This is satire. Any resemblance to real events is purely because Pakistani politics writes its jokes.