Pakistan loses to India again — officials confirm “only three more controversies needed” for victory

DUBAI — In what experts are calling “a defeat wrapped in drama,” India once again outplayed Pakistan in the Asia Cup Super Four, winning by six wickets. But while the runs on the scoreboard favored India, Pakistan claimed a moral triumph in the form of three world-class controversies.

Controversy One: The Handshake That Never Was
For the second time this tournament, the captains refused to shake hands at the toss. Rumor has it the ICC has now hired professional mediators — and possibly marriage counselors — to restore civility between the two sides. Pakistan Cricket Board officials later lodged a complaint, arguing the snub “cost at least 50 runs.”

Controversy Two: Haris Rauf’s Six-Zero Salute
After conceding boundaries, Haris Rauf turned to the cameras and flashed a “6-0” sign, a patriotic reference to Pakistan’s claim of downing six Indian jets. The gesture earned applause from the defense ministry but little comfort to fans who pointed out that “jets don’t bowl yorkers.”

Controversy Three: Farhan’s Guns-Blazing Celebration
Sahibzada Farhan’s half-century celebration, which included mimicking a machine gun with his bat, left Indian fans furious and BCCI lawyers drafting fresh codes of conduct. Pakistani supporters, however, praised the move, with one fan on X declaring, “Finally, we found a batter who at least knows how to fire shots.”

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Despite the controversies, Pakistan slumped to yet another defeat, sparking fresh calls for PCB chief Mohsin Naqvi’s resignation. “We don’t need coaches, selectors, or psychologists,” one fan wrote online. “We just need one clean win to silence 220 million critics.”

Until then, Pakistan seems destined to keep collecting controversies like trophies — proving, once again, that in cricket’s strangest rivalry, drama never loses.